Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Venice Or Bust IV- Ephesus, Turkey -September 30, 2008

MANY-BREASTED ARTEMIS
RUINS AT EPHESUS


LIBRARY AND HADRIAN'S TEMPLE

WORSHIP IN THE RUINS

VENICE OR BUST IV
We’ve arrived in Turkey!
You gotta love a country whose money is called the yittle!
YTL stands for Yeni Turkeii Lira (New Turkish Lira) but we call it the yittle for short. It's worth just about $1 U.S. which is very convenient. A yittle here – a yittle there and soon your spending some serious loot.
We change our euros to yittles and head to town.

The town is Kusidasi (first syllable rhymes with tushy, second syllable rhymes with posse). Kusidasi is a pretty port city built in the last thirty years for the express purpose of separating tourists from their yittles. Unlike Dubrovnik, there is no old city.

To find a really old city we hire a cab to drive us to Ephesus – the capital of the ancient Roman province of Asia. Our new cabbie, Ahmet, is efficient but not as much fun as Nikola from Dubrovnik. First stop is a large stone statue of Mother Mary. Turkey is a Muslim country so Ahmet must figure all American tourists are dying to see a giant statue of Jesus' Mom. I guess he can tell from Rena's body language that we are not fans.

Our next stop is at the temple of the Goddess Artemis. In the Mother Goddess competition, Artemis wins hands down over the Virgin M. She pre-dates Mary by 3000 years for one thing. Artemis was originally the Persian Goddess Cybele. Then she became Artemis. Later, after the Roman conquest, Artemis was idenitified with the Roman Goddess Diana, the huntress.
Artemis' statue is my idea of what a real mother goddess oughta look like. She has curves in the all the right places plus at least 50 breasts. Now this is something even doctors don't see everyday!

A roadside vendor is selling replica statues of Artemis and I just have to buy one. I bargain for a while and we eventually settle on the Goddess Artemis Action figure upgrade – a bigger statue for the same price as the statue ordinaire. Total price is 4 yittles – that's less than 10 yittle cents per boobie! What a steal! After negotiations are concluded, I pause to offer a silent prayer to the Goddess and ask her many-breasted blessings for all pagans everywhere. Om Shanti, y'all.

Next, Ahmet takes us to visit Artemis' hometown of Ephesus. It's remarkably well preserved – buried by an earthquake in 614 C.E. Ephesus was the biggest city in Asia at the time – over 200,000 people. They've been excavating the ruins for 110 years and have uncovered less than 10% of the city. The stadium alone held 25,000 people!

I befriend a grizzled old black-and-white tomcat in the ancient forum. He's got nicked ears and a scarred nose but I can tell by his big purr and nuzzling neck that he's more a lover than a fighter.

A few ruins go a long way. I like the physician's house. A large boa constrictor marks the doc's office entrance and a statue shows this ancient healer was a woman. She was honored with a statue because she saved Ephesus from the plague.

We pay a yittle more money and go into the peristyle house. This is an ancient condo development on the slope above the city forum. Seven very wealthy families lived here. The site has been unearthed right down to the brightly colored fresco paintings on the walls, the marble columns of the central courtyards, and the mosaics on the floors. Even the clay jars that held food in the kitchen have been preserved.

Rena and I knock off early and clamber over a broken wall to sit in the sun and rest. A tiny hummingbird sips nectar from a flowering shrub. The landscape smells of warm sage and oregano baking in the afternoon sun. I close my eyes and inhale -- warm earth, blue sky and herbal scented air. This peaceful moment at the edge of the ruins will be my treasured memory of ancient Ephesus. "Thank you again Goddess Artemis," I pray silently. "I love your hometown."
DAKTARI

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